Hello from Herbs & Things:)
"Deep doubts, deep wisdom; small doubts, little wisdom."
Chinese Proverb
Sometimes, I...as many of you, don't take the time to give myself the treat of meditation or a calming, healing form of standing meditation, such as Tai Chi. (benefits and more info about Tai Chi.... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tai_chi_chuan )
because somewhere in the course of the day, I've convinced myself, I don't feel like it, it won't make me feel better, or I don't have time, forgetting the benefits even a mere 15 mins let alone an hour will give, and decide to Veg out. Then, if you are like me, as you sit there vegging out, you beat yourself up because you are not doing.....Something.
As we all know, there are times, we need to Veg, but then there are the times, we need to push ourselves past feeling yucky, to tired, don't want to do it, don't feel like doing another thing today, feelings and make ourselves go to that Tai Chi or meditation class.
That's what happened to me last Thursday. All day, I did not feel sick....just blah, thus convincing my tired, icky, so so, part of me, that I was to tired and achy, to go to Tai Chi and yoga. It wasn't until 10 minutes before Tai Chi Class, I yelled at Myself, "Kellie, its only an hour, get your butt moving. Once you get there you'll be glad you did"!
Guess what, 'Myself' was right.
Ok...but I must be honest, I compromised with Myself, saying... "Ok self, I'll go to Tai Chi, but no Yoga tonight, my body really does not feel like doing that....OK"?
Self said, "Ok, but you must go to the Wheel when you get home and meditate there".
Sigh..." OK Deal"...(sad when you start making deals with yourself, or was it 'The Voice':)
I went to Tai Chi, and as I warmed up, breathed deep, did the moves, I could feel the stiffness ease from my joints, and back. My mind was not so...agitated and I didn't feel as tired. That was in the first 20 mins. Still, I did not stay for yoga, it didn't feel right this night... BUT...I did keep up the bargain I made with 'Myself' to go to the Wheel when I got home.
It was very cold Thursday night. I bundled up, and as per instructions, took sage, tobacco, Rattle, walking stick Owly, and headed to the Wheel. When I reached the lane leading to the meditation garden, I got the impression I should take my time and feel each step, that 'they' would not let me fall.
I concentrated and set each foot down soft and deliberate, testing for solidness of the ice covered ground beneath that step. By doing this, I felt energy enter my body with each mindful on the earth step and the quiet made my inward thoughts calm.
I reached the bridge going to the meditation garden, and stood there for a while in the silence breathing in the cold air, and listening to and feeling the energy of the creek running under the bridge.
After about 10 minutes of quiet time on the bridge, I was told, "spend time with the Ancestors. Enter the Wheel through the Ancestors path, rather than the South".
I again, going through the Ancestors, went slow and deliberate. It felt like I was wearing moccasins instead of heavy winter boots. Eerily, though the night was fairly bright, I had the feeling someone or something was following me, hearing 'their' foot falls on the hard covered snow and ice. A little nervously, I'd look behind me and around, nope nothing. Did I feel and hear a presence, or was it my imagination?
I reached the Wheel's circle and stood on the edge of the Ancestors spoke and the Circle, gazing at the bright stars towards the North, wondering to Myself, what constellation I'm looking at?
When in the quiet I heard,
"you know what constellation that is".
"uh, no I don't. I didn't even know it was a constellation"
"Yes you do, be still and think".
Oh yeah, there's the be still and think, thing again. Sigh...how can I be quiet and meditate when I must be still and THINK, isn't that the point of mediation, NOT to THINK?.Ok...blah, blah blah, its just my mind going around in circles again.
Myself, "Orion?".
"Now you know better, be serious, just think".
"Do I?...I know better?"
"Yes...stop it, be still and think".
I stood there for about five minutes.
Bear constellation?
I heard nothing, of whether I was right or wrong. I shrugged my shoulders and dismissed it as my thoughts merely rambling. So I entered the Wheel's circle, and did what I came for, to relax, be in nature and meditate. I burned sage, offered Tobacco, played a beat with the Rattle, hummed a tune and tried to clear my mind. For about 30 minutes, not really feeling the cold, I just was and felt better for it.That night, I slept well and the next day, I felt better. I'd forgotten about the Bear constellation thing until I was reminded Saturday morning, so I searched.
Some of you may already know what stars etc are in the night sky, but I only know a little astronomy, such as common things, like where Polaris and Venus are, when some of the 'star shows are' and though I know of Ursa Major, I was excited to find...there is a Bear constellation...actually two, Big and Little Bear...and different histories with different cultures. I found it exceptionally ironic my eyes were drawn (unknowingly) to the Owl Nebula that night, while I was suppose to be still and thinking, because oddly for the past few months, I get the impression I have been directed towards Owl Medicine and need to learn more. Thus making what I found in my research beyond the Ursa Major constellation, mind boggling, which I will share at a later date...to much again for an email:)
So anyhow, I guess this is just another little heads up about writing down things you think you think and think you hear, even within a quiet time of meditation. You might be surprised at what you've learned or know! :)
Read more here...about Ursa Major, Latin for the Larger Bear, constellation http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ursa_Major
and
Thank you to some new people on Herbs & Thing emailing for signing up and if you'd like to be on Herbs & Things weekly emailing...please email Kellie and type subscribe in subjet line.
No comments:
Post a Comment