Sometimes I Forget

Sometimes, I forget to drink water or anything, and then realize when I feel tired and dizzy, that I've only had one cup of coffee or tea in the past eight hours.

I forget to take time—and stop working.

I am one of those people that if I don’t force myself, I would work all day, every day, almost to the point of exhaustion, feeling guilty if I take any free time—for me.

It is good to work hard, and be fruitful. But life, as I know from being around animals all my life, is too short not to enjoy it, in-between those times of work. I know that life can change at any time in a fraction of a second and it's important to enjoy and relish the wonders around us.

I don’t watch much TV. I think it is a waste of time, except for the news or an educational channel. I do spend a lot of time outside, because out—there, available to anyone if we take the time, is the best continuous free movie and source of education. It’s available in vivid 3D, with no remote control, because what you do is what changes the channel.

There are no commercials, no deadlines, only live action and sometimes surprise endings. It’s there for any one of us, if we take the time to step out the door of our house, our little room where we write, or any area (outside or in) where we lock ‘us’ away. So frustration, which I should know by now, is my bodies way of telling me when I haven't had my required quota of free and life loving time.

Even knowing all that I have to force my self to stop working and go have fun, any kind of fun. Lucky for me, I have two smart dogs that help remind me of this.



A few mornings ago, about 6:30 AM, I was feeling edgy. Wasn't sure why, things are good here in Colden, NY. Yet there it was lurking at the very edge of my being, the hint of irritability. Fighting it made me more irritable. Things of course then would not go right, which caused more frustration.

With frustrations mounting, I fretted on, wondering why things were doing this to me. That’s when I felt it— a heavy burning sensation at the back of my neck. Not the burn caused by sitting at my computer too long either. I slowly turned my head, to find Jenna and Maddie sitting side by side in the doorway of my computer, slash, writing room and Herbs & Things office, staring intently with big brown eyes.


They had already been out when I fed horses at 4:30, so I mumbled something towards their stare, and then went back to typing or doing whatever on my computer.

The burning at the back of my neck increased. I turned to see them now only about two feet away, still silent but intent in their stares. I asked, “WHAT DO YOU WANT?” slightly angry with them for staring at me like that.

Maddie walked over, put her paw on my arm and laid her ears back on her head. Jenna jogged towards me lifting her lip to smile for an instant, and then both of them ran out the door. When I did not follow, they came back and did the same thing.

Feeling like they were ganging up on me, I gave in to their annoying what ever they were doing and asked them if they wanted to go for a walk. They responded with a few jumps and a pull on my sleeve. I said, “Well OK, just a short one, I have things to do!”


It was cold out. Dressing for warmth, not beauty, I bundled up in my snowpants, 'Mad Bomber' hat, big goose down parka and warm gloves. Then an idea came to me and I asked them, “Do you want to go snow-shoeing”? They responded with leaps and bounds around the kitchen. Telling me in their way, Hey you finally got the message.

They weren’t much help while I was putting on my snowshoes. Maddie kept pulling at my strings telling me, in her way, to hurry up. Jenna kept chasing Maddie. I told them if they did not settle down, we wouldn’t be going any where. They came and sat on my snowshoes. I laughed a belly laugh, forcing some of the frustration heavy on my chest to expel in front of me, and hang for a moment on my icy suspended breath. Then it was gone. It felt good.


Starting our trek down the long driveway toward the big field and pasture across the road, the girls were running back and forth like kids, dragging their parents by the hand towards something exciting. We crossed the road to our adventure. For them, adventures of hunting moles running under the snows. Tracking deer in the tracks of the snow and leaping over the creek that was subtly running under the frozen waters.
I was breathing in fresh air, invigorating my senses, my being alive watching the movie around me. It was quite, no one else seemed to up yet. It was just the girls and me in our cold quite paradise. A hawk flew over, circled us twice to see what we were doing, then perched in one of the dead ash trees and watched.
A deer watched us from high on the east hill..
I felt a spirit of well being enter me. The ripple of the creek under the ice soothed and carried away my irritability to a pool where worries are washed cleaned


My snowshoes created neat tracks in the snows, showing me I was here for at least a little while and before I knew it, I had been snow shoeing for over an hour. I had been working hard too, climbing small mounds of earth, trekking through the evergreens and working up a sweat. A sense of serenity had replaced that dark space of irritability. I no longer felt cold, inside or out. The frowns on my forehead were gone.

Getting back to the house, removing my snowshoes, I called the girls over to me. As I knelt on the ground, they ran up and snuggled close. Feeling better, I hugged them both around their necks and told them, “thank-you for not allowing me to forget.”