Leaving concerns

I left concerns behind and experienced one of the nicest days February, Friday the 13th 2008, that I can remember. How odd. I spent it attending a funeral.

It seems I’m at a loss for words this week. Several ideas have popped up, but nothing stays afloat. Maybe a series of events from that week is erasing the ideas from my mind, or the undercurrent of the flailing economy is carrying my ideas away beneath waves of concern. However, the writer in me—wants to write—needs—to write, so where do I begin. I guess where all writers begin, with a free write.*

The economy is a concern for every one. My husband and I are ok. The company he works for is one of the few trucking companies still up and running. He’s ‘semi’ secure if they start letting people go, he won’t be first. He’s been there almost twenty years. This reduces our concern. However, we wonder, will his employer be able to hold on? We sure hope so. We’ve had to start over a couple times in our 33 years of marriage and doing it again at our age—though we are not old—doesn’t sound appealing. Though concerned I don’t worry, what’s to be will be. We will deal with it as best we can, should that time come.

Things are a little tight though, because as those who follow my blog know, I quit my job to pursue and devote my time to this dream of Herbs & Things. I must admit I still wonder from time to time, why that voice of inspiration instructed me to open Herbs & Things now, when the economy is slow. (If you are intrigued, you can read about The Voice in my October 8th 2008 entry.) I do have a theory about, why now. That is for a later blog.

Last week was a week of feelings I can’t put into words. Surreal, baffling, humbling…nope can’t find the right words. It was a week of concerns, not worries, because worrying fixes nothing.

My mother-in- law’s been sick for a few weeks, with a virus of some sort. She’s 76, my father-in- law is 80. I don’t worry about them, they have thirteen children and 36 grandchildren, so someone that lives closer than I, is able to check in on them. But with concern I called almost every day to see if she was better, fighting the fear of the worst for someone her age. Tuesday the 10th my father- in- law had a Doppler done on his legs.
I called with concern. This week she’s doing better, he had his Doppler, things are ok and after a minimal procedure, he’ll be fine.

Wednesday my friend Linda called to let me know her husband Dave passed away after battling Leukemia for two years. I’m slightly concerned about her living on the farm alone. I express my deepest sympathies. I think, she’ll be ok she has two great daughters Kathy and Kristy. I tell her I’ll see her at the wake on Thursday. I hang up and my concern turns to sorrow. How tragic such a nice family, I’ve known since she was my high school gym teacher, 1969-1972, had to loose someone they love. Then in the early nineties, as if to complete a started circle, Linda once the teacher calls a riding instructor, unknowing it was me at the time, to teach her 13 year old daughter riding. I am concerned will I cry at the wake about their loss and the past that is gone making them feel worse.

Its Thursday, the weather is terrible. Winds are blowing and it’s snowing hard. The roads are bad. My sister who is going through chemo is not having a good week and needs a blood transfusion. The hospital is 35 miles away. I am amazed at her fortitude and smiling spirit. My concern for her minimal because of those attributes but I am concerned about their drive in to the hospital.
Because her husband is a good driver, they get there and back, safe and sound, and she feels better. That concern set aside, another weighs on my shoulders, should I be dealt such a hand, would I be able troop on as my sister has. My concern turns to admiration of such an inspirational person, my sister.

Late Thursday afternoon the weather is getting worse, the plows haven’t been through and it would not be wise to drive the hour drive one way in this kind of weather. I make a decision. I call and leave a message I cannot make the wake, but I will be at the funeral tomorrow. My concern now, I have to close Herbs & Things to go to the funeral.

Thursday evening around 6 pm, the mother of my Godson calls. They are taking him to the hospital with fears of Spinal Meningitis. Immediately the only thing that plays in my mind as I stand silent, with concern, are the commercials I’ve seen for Spinal Meningitis awareness…that shows children playing and a voice saying “This is what Spinal meningitis looks likes, smiling yesterday, dead today.” My concern is fear.

It’s the morning of Friday the 13th. I hear of the tragic plane crash of Flight 3407 not far North of me. My heart saddened for those who died and those having to deal with their loss. How silly of me I think, to be concerned about closing the shop and maybe missing a customer. I already know in my heart saying goodbye is more important but needed reminding.

It is a beautiful day, the sun is shining the roads are clear. It is a nice one-hour drive to Ellicottville.

The funeral service is beautiful. It’s one of the nicest and uplifting services I’ve ever attended. There are tears, but still there is joy with a true celebration of this mans life. As we celebrate his life and life in general, it’s through his death, again the reality of what is important shines through. I have no thoughts of my shop at home. I am happy being where I am.

Even though it was a funeral, any concerns I had vanished and the day was wonderful. I met two nice women, Sharon and Gobby, (I apologize if your name is not spelled correctly) who themselves were inspirational. I spent the afternoon eating good food, talking with good company compiled with the breathtaking backdrop of beautiful Holiday Valley, where Dave worked for 43 years.

It was an afternoon spent hugging and being with a woman I love dearly and her daughters. I spent time with the memory of a man, a kind man with a gruff voice, who spoke his mind, took nothing from no one and all respected him for that. A man that worked hard but knew the important things in life, keeping his priorities straight by making sure even when he worked over time, to be home to have dinner with his family. He is loved for that.
He knew his god, who he was in God and though he was not a church going man, he and god had an understanding. They were comfortable with their relationship.

It was a marvelous afternoon. I learned more about the man I was saying good-bye to and the family I thought I knew and loving them even more.
What a glorious day I had saying goodbye and celebrating his life.

It was unavoidable, that this series of events over four days changed my way of thinking making me stop and reflect again, about what’s important in life. Reconfirming something I already know, but don’t do as often as I should.
That is, take time and enjoy life. Have fun. Socialize. Be with people. Say a kind word. Tell someone you love them. Be kind to animals. Respect the planet we live on. Enjoy and thank god for today, because tomorrow, it could be gone.

Its Friday the 13th evening, my Godson has a sinus infection—No concerns.
Saturday Afternoon, we celebrate my sisters 65th birthday—
Monday Linda is doing O–K
Tuesday...the mother-in-law put new covers on her dining room chairs.
Wednesday the father-in-law went shopping
Tues/Wed/Thurs/ Herbs & Things has some customers
Friday the 20th, my husband is home from work and going back.

*Free Write: is a writing technique in which a person writes continuously for a set time period, with no regard to spelling, grammar or topic. It produces raw, often unusable material, but allows a writer to overcome blocks of apathy and self-criticism. It is used mainly by prose writers and writing teachers.
Often writers use free writing to collect their initial thoughts and ideas and as a preliminary to more formal writing.

Sign or coincidence

(Photo taken by Amateur astronomer Jack Newton from his backyard observatory in Arizona:)


I receive E-mail newsletters from NASA Science News. I don’t always read them if the headlines don’t catch my eye, but occasionally something will.
A recent newsletter from NASA was one of those.

Green Comet Approaches Earth

Does it peak your interest, like it did mine?

Meet comet Lulin, named after the observatory in Taiwan where the discovery-photo was taken, a solar identity that is coming our way.

With my mind the way it works, integrated with beliefs that most things are not coincidental, I look at a —Green comet approaching earth at a time when our energy resources are dwindling, the earth is changing and many are trying to live less wasteful lives—like an intervention or we are being told something, loud and Green.

Reading the events as Lulin gets closer, I can’t shed the question, is it a sign or coincidental, that this Green comet is approaching earth as our new president speaks of providing more affordable ways for people to go Green, with solar, bio fuels and wind power. Is it a sign that some of us are still in denial that the way we live is affecting the planet we live on.

Yes, as history would have it, earth changes every million, billion years or so. In small ways, according to the universe, it changes every day. It changed before there were so many of us, or there were planes, trains and automobiles. It changed during the ice age, the demise of dinosaurs, and other earthly evolutionary events. However, just as breathing toxic fumes is bad for our human bodies, I have to believe the toxic residue, carbon monoxide and other things we throw at are planet, are not good for Mother Earths health and that we are speeding up her change.

Anyhow, I thought you might like to meet Lulin, the green comet, and judge for your self…and see what you feel…Is it a …sign or coincidence?

http://science.nasa.gov/headlines/y2009/04feb_greencomet.htm?list1068991

Have a great day
Kellie