Passion-Real or Imagined

What is passion?
Passion capitalized means the sufferings of Christ between the night of the Last Supper and his death; this is not my passion.

The passion I’m speaking of, is the state or capacity of doing something fueled by external agents or forces, or as in my case internal forces—my gut feeling, the little voice in my head, or the crazy ideas I come up with— aka— My voice.

My voice, the voice of reason, the voice of intuition, spiritual guidance, or a voice that sounds like my mother, especially during the winter when I scuff my clunky, keep my feet warm boots on the barn floor, and I hear her say, “Kellie Marie” pick or feet up. Without a blink of an eye, I do what I’am told, with no fear of the voice or any doubt it is she telling like when I was a child, to pick up my feet.

When your passion or the truth of your soul comes through, it is an intense, overpowering conviction that drives you forward and squelches doubts. I’ve learned to listen better as I’ve matured, (you notice I did not say as I am getting older), and not fight it.

The Native American’s historical uses of herbs, and other cultures that don’t have the modern day medicines we do, who live sometimes healthier lives, I find intriguing. This intrigue has pushed me to want to know more. I want to learn the power of herbs and go back to a more natural way of life that will help us (the human race) live in a more harmonious state.

My passion, My Voice, not necessarily the voice of reason, is leading me to open this new business, Herbs & Things, even though I am not an expert on herbs, teas or running my own business. I do however, have a passion for drying herbs from my gardens and planting, growing and canning my own vegetables. How then do I cultivate this passion? What better way, than open a business on the very thing I want to learn more about.

I was in the shower when I heard the voice loud and clear. I guess my mind was open for reception. The shower is the one place I can hear the best. The running water lets me hear nothing else. The name Herbs & Things was specific and immediately ideas started filling my mind and has not stopped. I couldn’t stop even if I tried.

I must admit, I wonder, crosses my mind a lot. I wonder if I’ve ordered the right merchandise. Will I have enough? Will I do ok? Will people like my homey little Herbs & Things shed and the neat stuff inside? My voice tells me not to worry about that.

This journey is fueled by an overpowering conviction, coming from where—I don’t know. Why now— I don’t know that either. All I do know is I quit my job to be able to devote the proper amount time to launch this endeavor with another plus, I can spend more time on my writing.
The odd thing about quitting my job and spending money on this adventure is I feel no guilt or fear. It feels right. Does this lack of guilt and fear mean I am being true to my passion, my soul and my hearts intention? I know what I think.

Think about your passion. If you don’t know, what it is—listen to that voice inside your head. You know— that idea you say, no way I can’t do that or— what am I crazy to think such I thing. Go for it. You only live once, and saying I wonder, is much better than saying, I wished I tried.

Kellie

Searching for the Sand Man. I am not alone.

Last night while spending the evening with insomnia, I wrote this to Tricia at Faith Hope and Fiction in response to her Blog, Sleepless in Chicago.

The dogs are sleeping. My husband is not home yet. It’s well after midnight and I haven’t gone to bed, which is strange, my bedtime is usually around 10.
I have a lot on my mind I guess and the coffee I had at a birthday party at 6 PM I’m sure isn't helping.
With my new business a few days away from opening and the fact I, ten minutes ago, made the check out for the school taxes, causes a little worry. The bank account looks sad. This could be the reason I am still up, but I am not sure that’s it. Sleep has eluded me for the past ten years, for one reason or another.
I’m awake and wondering if any one else is up and out there or am I alone in my world, of toss and turn, fix the fans, turn the pillow, drink some water, look out the window at the barn through the rain, and place an order for more stock.
Sigh—yawn—the account is sagging at the shoulders now.
Therefore, I go searching, for what I am not sure. My eyes are too tired to read so I hunt for something, anything that will lull me into drowsy eyed slumber land. When behold but whom do I find in my search, but a fellow sleepless night wanderer, Tricia Crisafulli, a friend, mentor and chief cheerleader.
It’s a comfort to my sleepless mind to know that there’s a connection, not only through the world of writing but also through the world of sleepless nights, with someone out there.
I think I’ll be able to sleep now, knowing I am not alone, padding across the carpet in the dark, searching for the infamous sand man.
Good night my friend Tricia Crisafulli and let us sleep tight.